Dark Side of Empathy
by Debbie Dai-chan
Summary: Joe discovers that Kim, the shy girl, has a dark secret, and will Tai ever forgive her for what she had done? Not really angst, but close.
1. One: Mismatched Eyes

Dark Side of Empathy

Part One: Mismatched Eyes

By Debbie (Dai-chan)

I sighed, resting my chin on my hand. I glared hotly at my black phone, wishing the kid on the other side would see it, and slammed it down on the receiver. Gently. I also glared at a thin red book on my desk, tons of all the numbers on the papers staring back at me tauntingly. I shut it close and sighed again. I leaned backward in my chair, watching the curtains swaying in the gentle breeze from my half-closed window. Normally, I would not get upset about anything (get nervous, more likely), but my voice was surprisingly bitter as I muttered, "No ninth child in Izzy's address book here."

I whirled around in my chair and took a gaze inside my room. Kimika was sitting cross-legged on the floor, two books in front of her, one of them open. With a press of her thumb, she shut off her black cell phone. Quietly, she closed the blue book and leaned back against the bedpost of my bed. She looked over to me with the soft brown eyes and shrugged. "He's not in Matt's, either."

I drummed my fingers impatiently on the chair's arms. All day we have been calling every number in our friends' address books in hopes we would find the Ninth Digidestined. But so far, we found nothing. NOTHING! I counted off my fingers, saying, "He is not in Matt's, Izzy's, Mimi's, and Sora's. The only address books left are mine, yours, and Tai's. I cannot believe I volunteered for this. My fingers are all cramped from the dials. My voice is hoarse. It's so boring, and our friends probably have fun right now . . ." I stopped in mid sentence.

Kimika was silent through my complaints, but I noticed she was smiling placidly, her eyes remarkably restful as she gazed at me. I remembered she was timid. We were not that close. Often she was seen in the company of eager Tai or cheerful TK, or alone when she took pictures with her precious camera. I liked her, anyway. She was generous, kind like Sora, but Sora was more concerned, a worry wart like me. Kimika was more patient, accepting what would happen.

"What?" I felt my irritation evaporating, now curious why Kimika was smiling at me like that.

Still smiling, Kimika shyly shook her head. She wrapped arms around her long legs and said, "It's kind of funny to hear you complaining about the calls since you volunteered for it."

I grinned down to her. "I would complain a lot more if I wasn't so lucky to have you help me. When the kids gave me their address books and left, I thought no one would ever help me. Then you just came."

Her smile widened. "Always willing to help, Joe. Do you remember when you cried that Tai's didn't give you his book?"

I nodded, remembering. "I thought I would cry with joy. And what did Sora call him?"

"'Mr. Generous!'" she mimicked Sora's voice cheerfully.

We both laughed. I was surprised at us. We didn't laugh together that much. Sure we did, but with the others. Not alone. I laughed at her when she tried to cover her giggles with her hands. I liked the way her eyes squinted into laughing slits. Then she laughed at me because my glasses were at the point of sliding off my nose.

Then we looked up at the sound of a door opening. I saw my mother smiling at us, her dusky eyes soft. She was the only one in my family who was traditional, preferred to be clothed in a purple-white Japanese kimono at home. Her black hair was coiled into a tight bun, revealing a merry, rosy-cheeked face. She was short; I was only a few inches shorter than her. Many people said Mother and I looked alike, but I don't believe it.

"My," Mother spoke, "When I heard laughter in here, I thought you must have fun. Are you having fun, Jyou?"

I nearly cringed at my name. Mother always called me by my Japanese name. I don't hate my name, but I think Joe sounded better than Jyou. Besides my friends always called me Joe, anyway. I answered politely, "Yes, Mother."

"Jyou, why won't you ask Kimika if she would like to stay over for supper? We have nice noodle stew."

I shot up in my chair, blinking in surprise. "Supper? Already?" I turned to look at my black digital clock on my desk. The bright red numbers displayed 6:47 in the evening. I didn't realize that we were busy that long. "Gosh!"

I heard Kimika saying, "I wouldn't mind. I would love to stay."

I turned to her, a little surprised. That was the first time a girl would like to stay over at my house for supper. I was too shy to even ask Mimi to come over, but Kimika seemed fine. "Are you sure?" I asked. She answered with a nod.

I heard a teasing voice calling form outside my room, "And maybe you can ask your girlfriend to stay over for the night!" A booming laugh followed after.

My face went scarlet. My older brother was so brainless! He loved to tease me badly about anything. Yeah, that was what an older brother was for. Since I have Kimika over at my house, he began to call her my 'girlfriend.' I would like Mimi to be mine, but Kimika was only a friend. I let my voice grow louder. "Back off, Jim!"

"Make me, Joey boy!" Jim called back.

I again opened my mouth, but Mother's sharp voice but through. "Enough." She gazed at me sternly until I blushed, lowering my eyes. She then turned to my brother, probably glaring at him. I heard silence from him. Mother rarely got angry over anything, but if my brother and I ever attempt to argue, her sharp face and voice always have us shut up. Her voice was calm. "My sons don't fight in front of a guest."

Unsurprisingly, Jim and I spoke in perfect unison, "Yes, Mother." Then we fell in silence. I pushed up my glasses, feeling sheepish in front of Kimika.

Kimika smiled at what happened and turned to Mother, asking politely, "Is it all right if I would stay here for the night, Mrs. Kido? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind."

I gazed at her in puzzlement. Her, wanting to stay over? Why? It was a surprise to me because I never have anybody stay over for the night. Why would she want to stay? Maybe it was a chance for us to know each other better. Kimika didn't see the puzzlement on my face.

Mother grinned warmly. "Why, it would be wonderful. Why won't you call your parents to let them know?"

"Mother, is it all right if Kim and I eat our supper in here?" I asked. I assured since Kimika was modest, she would be comfortable if she ate alone with me.

Mother appeared surprised, her dusky eyes on me for a moment. It was the tradition to her that the family should always eat together. Then she nodded. "Sure, Jyou. I must see to my stew. I'm glad to have you stay for the night, Kimika." She turned to leave, and then stopped. I heard an amused chuckle from her.

"Mother?" I said, wondering what made her laugh.

She turned to us, pointing to my bed. "You know, your dolls look so adorable together."

Both Kimika and I looked at each other in astonishment, and then looked over to my bed. Our Digimon were sleeping peacefully, oblivious to their surroundings. They were so boring with us calling all day, so they chose to sleep, mainly in order to restore energy rather than eating. Iyumon curled herself into a ball, her paws burying her snout. Gomamon laid by Iyumon's side, stretching out his small body, his head resting against her head. Thankfully, they were not making any sound, such as snoring or mumbling, that might reveal them as real creatures, not dolls.

Usually, I would stammer, not knowing what to say, but Kimika saved my life by answering calmly, "Thank you, Kido-san."

Mother again smiled and left my room, closing the door. I exhaled in relief, glad Kimika acted quickly to avoid any suspicion. Also, I was feeling sheepish because my mother was traditional. Kimika might be not used to that, her family being modern and all. I gazed to her apologetically, saying, "Sorry, Kim. I guess my mother is a little old-fashioned."

Her brown eyes met my gaze, and she shrugged. "It's all right, Joe. You shouldn't be too concerned."

Something in her voice made me look at her in perplexity. She didn't see my reaction, dialing on her cell phone, appearing calm. But the way she said that I shouldn't be concerned . . . she sounded sad? Or lonely? Watching her, I wondered.

***

That night, I didn't sleep. Unlike my friends, I was nocturnal, liking to stay up while the others slept, alone with my thoughts. I loved to watch the stars. I didn't realize how much I missed stargazing until we came back from Digiworld. Back in the Digiworld, the stars were in meaningless groups. There were not patterns to them. I couldn't find the North Star, which was my favorite star. It was strange, but I got used to it until I got back home. Since that, I would love to stay up all night, remembering the familiar star patterns.

I sat in my chair, my elbows on the desk, my head on my hands. Through the closed window, I watched the stars, silently twinkling in the night sky. However, this time, my thoughts weren't on stars. They were about Kimika.

Looking over my right shoulder, I saw Kimika sleeping in my bed. I let her sleep on my bed as I slept on the floor. Iyumon was also sleeping under the blankets, her face and horns the only traces of her peeking out. Gomamon was all tangled in my blankets, softly snoring. He was the reason I couldn't sleep with him rolling around.

I watched Kimika. The faint moonlight pouring out from the window radiated her tender face, silver against her tan skin. I noticed that she was looking a bit disturbed in her sleep, her eyes tightly shut. Her hands were clenched into fists, tucked under her chin, her body rolled up into a tense ball. I often wonder if I was the only one who noticed this. Often I noticed something different in her eyes whenever she glanced over to Tai. Something that made her appears sad. More like guilty. I noticed that it happened every time when she was with Tai. I could see guilt in her eyes, but I wondered why haven't Tai notice that. I wonder why she would be guilty about something. But, then, I don't know very much about her. We were not close.

I turned away, my eyes on the outside. The only moment I could remember that brought us close was when we found our crests together. Our crests were carved in the same rock, side by side, as if there was a purpose for our crests to be together. Also, our crests were in similar colors. Mine was dark grey as her crest was light grey, more like silver. I wonder if there was a reason for us to know each other better than the others. I wonder . . .

I heard a soft shifting and turned to find that Kimika was awake. She sat up from the bed, careful not to wake her Digimon. She was clad in my old tan pants that seemed a bit too loose for her, and a black shirt. I was clothed in another tan pants and a blank white shirt.

She walked up to me, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "Couldn't sleep?"

I grinned back, kind of teasing. "How could you guess?"

She smiled at my joke. "Your mumbles woke me."

"Oh, sorry." I know I had a bad habit that I talk to myself, and I didn't know I was waking her.

She shook her head gently. "That's all right. I'm a light sleeper, anyway."

I nodded, knowing she always wakes early before sunrise. I found myself quiet, and I turned to watch outside to the twinkling stars.

I heard Kimika coming to my desk and sat on it. She was light in weight, and she pulled her legs up into a sitting position beside my left side. I could feel her concern. "What's the matter?" she asked.

I shook my head reassuringly, my eyes still on the stars. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"About us."

I heard her laughing lightly. "What are you getting on, Joe?"

I gazed up to her, smiling. "I was wondering why did you choose to stay here for the night?"

She appeared astonished, and then shrugged, her brown eyes lowered to her entwined hands in her lap. "Well, maybe to be away from my family for a while. I feel more comfortable being with you than with my family." She gazed up, seeing the confusion on my face. "You know, after all those adventures together in Digiworld."

I leaned back in my chair, meeting her eyes with my dark eyes. "Kim, can you remember any moments that occurred with only you and me?"

She looked obviously confused. "What do you mean?"

"The only moment I can remember is when we found our crests together. That's it."

Kimika's eyes went unfocused as she tried to remember. "You are right. Not very many adventures together."

"We didn't really talk with each other, did we?"

"Well, we are now."

I leaned forward to her, trying to see her eyes in the faint moonlight. They looked kind of strange. With the moonlight shining on one side of her face, one eye seemed pure silver as the other eye was pitch-black in the shadows. Mismatched eyes. Trying to ignore the sudden, cold shiver in my body, I continued, "I mean, I don't know very much about you. All I know is that you adore photography."

"And all I know is that you are a worry wart."

Her teasing voice made me blush. I know she was not teasing me badly. She was not the one who would be mean to anyone. In her voice, she sounded like she liked my nervousness, my concern for the others. She liked the way I am. She then laughed softly and rested a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Sorry, Joe. It's not usual for me to joke. I am more serious."

I understood. It seemed that she was the only one who didn't underestimate me, unlike the others. I smiled back to her and turned to stare out the window. A warm, comfy silence fell upon us, and I heard Kimika shifting so she would face the outside and watch the stars with me.

"You love stars?" I heard her asking after a long moment. I answered with a nod, my eyes still staring out. She continued, "Can you tell me what is that?"

"What?" I turned to her. 

"That moving star." She pointed toward the night sky.

My gaze followed to where she pointed. I saw a moving light drifting across the night sky. It was moving too slowly to be a comet or a shooting star, and it was blinking slowly in a pinkish-white hue. I never have seen such a star like that. "It's not a star, but what is it?"

Suddenly, without a warning, a shrill beep came out of nowhere, but really in my room. I turned around in my chair, wildly looking around as Kimika nearly fell backward off my desk in alarm, but caught her balance in time. Where did the beep come from? We saw a faint silver light blinking from Kimika's pile of clothes and back bag near my bed, the repeated beeps also responding to the blinks. Kimika seemed to move in a silent flash. She dove for her clothes near my bed, and dug in. Arriving to her side, I saw her grabbing on her Digivice - the source of the beep.

"Quiet it!" I nearly hissed. "It will wake up my family!"

Kimika tried to cover her Digivice with her hands, but it didn't work. The beeps still came, annoying and shrill, the light blinking from between her fingers. Looking around, I grabbed my pillow and covered the Digivice, muffling it. Kimika and I held on the pillow over the Digivice until it finally stopped.

I heard yawns and turned to see that the Digimon were waking by the beeps. Gomamon was yawning, struggling to get out of the blanket tangle. He looked over to me with the lively pale green eyes, asking, "What happened?"

Kimika was getting her Digivice from under the pillow, looking curiously at it. "My Digivice beeped."

Iyumon was sitting at the edge of my bed, her paws dangling in front of her. Her ruby eyes were bright even in the dimness. "How come?"

Kimika didn't answer her Digimon. She was gazing at her Digivice in her hands, wondering. I stood, walking over to my window. I looked out, searching for the strange star. It was gone. "Well, that moving star is gone now." I turned around.

Kimika was gazing up at me, her eyes pondering "Joe, what if it's the ninth child?"

"Huh?"

"Remember Izzy said that he got a reading on his Digivice from something that could be the ninth child?" I nodded to her. "If it is true, then my Digivice must get a reading from him. Come on! We have no time to lose." She turned to reach for her yellow boots.

I gazed down at my Digivice on my desk. It didn't do anything since we got back to our home world. "If it is true, why only your Digivice? Not mine?"

She paused in tying her boots and gazed over her shoulder to me. Her voice was gentle and a bit exasperated. "Can't we worry about it later? We must go out and find him." She stood and went for the door.

"Now?" I said, still hesitant.

"Joe!" Her voice seemed to boom as she whirled to me. I blinked in astonishment. Never had she had her voice that loud, not even when she was upset. The Digimon were gazing at her in surprise. She seemed to blush, ashamed, her eyes lowered. Her hand on the doorknob slightly clenched, then loosed. She gazed up to me, an apologetic glint in her eyes. Her voice was low. "You don't have to come."

I felt my face frowning. "Of course I am coming! I am responsible for you." At first, I thought I saw a flash of great sadness passing over her face, but it was gone in an instant as she lowered her head to gaze at her feet. Still confused, I wasted no time putting on my shoes and getting my Digivice. We all tiptoed out of my home. We picked up our Digimon in our arms so we could run downstairs. Our Digimon have short legs - in Gomamon's case, flippers, and they couldn't run fast as we can. Finally, we got out the apartment building and putted down our Digimon. Kimika took out her Digivice and waited.

The weather was pleasant with a cool breeze coming from south. The moon and the dim streetlights were the only lights we have at night. I looked around in uneasy caution. There were no people walking around. Usually, people would be busy at night than at day, but now we were alone at the sidewalk.

Iyumon gazed up to her partner, her eyes concerned. "Kim, I'm worried. What if it is a trick?"

I nodded, turning to Kimika, who was still waiting for her Digivice to beep. "She may be right. We have to be cautious -"

A beep cut me off. The Digivice was blinking with the beeps, the light illuminating Kimika's face. She looked triumphant. "Yes! Got him!" She then broke in a run toward her right.

"Kim! Wait!" I ran after her, the Digimon running by my side. She ran faster than me, but finally, I saw her stopping at the entrance of a huge park. I remembered I used to play there when I was little. When I stopped at her side, I bent over and panted hard as she lightly panted. Man, I was not used to run that hard! I heard the Digimon arriving, also panting.

Iyumon tried to speak through her pants. "Why . . . would the child . . . be here?"

"Taking . . . a walk?" Gomamon answered.

I shook my head in disbelief. "In the middle of the night? Look, not even people are busy at this time." I stood up straight, inhaling a fresh breath.

Kimika putted her Digivice on her belt. "I lost the reading, but he must be in there." She began to enter under the stone arch that led to the park. But I stopped her by holding on her arm.

"Wait, Kim. We must be careful. Anything can happen there anytime, even evil Digimon."

"But, Joe," she said, "It would be our only chance to find the child."

I sighed at the brown eyes. I gazed down to our Digimon, saying seriously. "Guys, be ready at everything, and be ready to digivolve if anything goes bad." Gomamon and Iyumon obediently nodded. Nodding in satisfaction, I looked up at Kimika. She was smiling back.

"You are a very good leader," she said. "I'm fortunate you are concerned about me, but you don't really have to. I will be fine."

Perhaps her softness and modesty were her weaknesses, making her vulnerable. No wonder I felt a strong sense of responsibility to protect her. I thought I felt strange warmth on my chest, coming from my crest, but it was gone. I spoke gently, "I just don't want you to get hurt. Tai would get mad." I knew Tai was fiercely loyal to her like a protective brother.

Kimika shook her head. "Oh, forget about him. This's about you and me. This's our chance. Hey, it would be an adventure together."

"Say, are you coming or not?" We turned to the annoyed voice of Gomamon. He and Iyumon were already inside the park. Together, we entered the park. We walked on the stone walk that entwines through trees, creating a puzzling, stony maze. I enjoyed walking it because it let me think as long as I want, the walk seeming never run out of paths. Everything was so quiet; even the breeze was silent as it moved through the branches.

"It's peaceful," I heard Gomamon saying in awe from my side.

"Too peaceful," said the usual cautious Iyumon. "Usually, a Digimon would appear any time and attack us."

Kimika shook her head to her Digimon. "It's not Digiworld, Iyumon. Compared to Digiworld, this world is quiet."

"Nevertheless, we must be alert," I spoke. I do like the night, but only for stargazing. Otherwise, I don't like to walk in the darkness. I don't fear the darkness, but something in the dark made me scared. "Who knows what lurks in the night?"

Kimika glanced sidelong to me, an eyebrow raised in a questioningly slant. "You think the night is dangerous?"

I let my voice grow darker into a false spooky voice that you heard in cheesy haunted movies. "It's the time for evil to come out."

Kimika smiled. "You are so pessimistic, Joe. I believe the night is peaceful, protected, where no one could harm me. Where no one could find me."

I saw something in her face. Deep, immeasurable shame in her face. I saw her eyes went too soft, as if they were going to shed tears. She turned away from me a bit too quickly. I saw her shoulders begin to shake silently. I thought she was going to cry. "Kim?"

"Hush!" I head Gomamon whispering. Looking down to him, I saw him raising one of his long, wavy ears to listen for something. His eyes darkened. "I heard something."

Iyumon also looked cautious, tilting her head, seeming to listen. "Me, too. Out there."

We waited, also trying to hear, but heard nothing. Gomamon had the keenest hearing of all Digimon; Iyumon's hearing was close to his sharp hearing, and they can hear noises further better than we can. Then we heard a soft, whispering beep. It came from Kimika's Digivice.

"Well, at least it won't wake anybody," I muttered quietly.

Kimika took a look at her Digivice and said, "I received a reading from northeast." 

We followed her across the grass, following the Digivice's beeping. I wonder why someone would be here in the park in the middle of the night. Suddenly, out of nowhere, we saw a black crow flying toward us. It went in frenzy, attacking us with flaps of its wings, sharp beak, and slashes of its talons. Kimika buried her face from the beak as I tried to scare it away with my arms. Iyumon uncurled her tail, and spikes shoot from the club at the tail's end, scaring away the crow. The crow made a shrill caw before it flew away in a fuss of black feathers. In the moment, when I gazed to it, I thought I saw something familiar in its talons. It was a –

"Oh!" Kimika shuddered as she brushed away feathers from her shoulders. Her eyes were wide. "Why did the crow attack us? I wonder if we disturb its nest."

I straightened my glasses, staring at where the crow had disappeared in the trees. "I swear I saw . . ."

"Joe?" I head Kimika saying in worry.

I shook my head, uncertain. "Nothing. I must see things. Come on, Kim. I guess we aren't finding the ninth child this time."

Before we even made a move, we head faint creaking from our far right. We froze in motion, our eyes wide. I felt Kimika creeping closer to me. "What was that?" she whispered. Then we saw a strange, tan carriage rolling out of the mist that surrounded it. It was moving on its own, without horses or anything. It was coming closer at a slow rate.

"Get away!" Gomamon hissed to us. "It's Myotismon!"

We didn't hesitate to his warning. I grabbed Kimika's hand and pulled her behind a huge oak tree. We bundled together, our backs on the trunks. I saw Gomamon and Iyumon also hiding under a bench, small enough to be well-hidden. I could see their eyes, pale green and bright scarlet, glowing in the moonlight from under the bench.

I could hear more creaks, the opening of a wooden door, then silence. I could hear the rustlings of a heavy cloak. An ominous feeling grew in the air, so strong that I could feel it crawling on my skin. I knew this feeling very well. I experienced it many times that I know the feeling of that like I know my name. Even without looking, I knew Myotismon was present, near.

Then I heard his voice, so pure dark with evil. The voice always made me shudder, and I tried not to show it to Kimika, who nestled near me. "Hmm . . . You kids should not wander around during the night. Not safe, you know."

I held Kimika closer to myself in order to protect her. How did Myotismon know we were here?! Unless . . . it was all a trick! Myotismon would have tapped on Kimika's Digivice to make false readings and bring us all here so he would destroy us. Curse him! I wish there was a way to stop him so we could escape. But how? I was too cowardly to fight him, and Kimika was too vulnerable to be able to face him. Kimika was shivering in fear, burying her face in her hands.

I heard stiff footsteps toward us, as if Myotismon knew where we hide. "Come out, Digidestined, so I can see you," came the dark, creeping voice. "Tell me all you know about the Ninth Digidestined. Then I shall destroy you."

I heard two growls from the bench and looked around to see our Digimon glowing.

_Gomamon, digivolve into Ikkakumon!_

_Iyumon, digivolve into Rianmon!_

Because of his massive size, Ikkakumon tore the bench from its hold in the ground, sending it flying out of the way. Ikkakumon bared his long fangs, his sharp ice-blue eyes glowing intensely at the unseen Myotismon. Rianmon stood by his side, her masked head lowered, her spiked tail waving warningly.

I realized that they were trying to get Myotismon's attention away from us so we could escape. I whispered in Kimika's ears. "Come on, Kim! We must escape!"

She turned to me, her eyes wide. I saw something in her eyes. Guilt, but stubbornness. She began to shake her head violently. "No! I won't leave Rianmon! No!" She tore herself from my hold and ran from behind the tree to her Digimon, not realizing her mistake. I ran after her, grabbing her arm, and together, we stopped in our tracks. We looked up at the dark snickers of Myotismon. I quickly pushed her behind me, fearfully meeting the icy cold gaze of the vampire Digimon. He smirked darkly.

"So, that's where you hide," he spoke and drifted after us.

"Harpoon Torpedo!" Two horn-like torpedoes shot out from my Digimon's horn and soared toward Myotismon. Silently, simply, Myotismon raised his hands, palms facing forward. The torpedoes halted in midair. He then clenched his hands into fists, and the torpedoes exploded as if they were squeezed by Myotismon.

Myotismon turned to Ikkakumon, slightly aggravated. "Grisly Wing!" Tiny bats that seemed to be born of the darkness flew from his wide scarlet cloak. The bats attacked Ikkakumon with their poisoned fangs, harming him as he tried to fight back as much as he could. I heard a pained howl from him, and Ikkakumon collapsed to the ground, unmoving as the bats kept attacking.

"No! Ikkakumon!" I yelled, and then I saw a lavender tail sweeping over his head, attacking the bats at once. They immediately disappeared in the darkness, unable to resist the powerful poison in the spikes. Rianmon leaped in front of my Digimon, paws spread into a fighting position, her golden eyes blazing at Myotismon.

Myotismon quietly raised a thin eyebrow and sneered. "Rianmon, always willing to help. How pathetic. No wonder there are few of you." Kimika and I were bewildered. There were few of Rianmons? She was rare? But something Myotismon said about Rianmon . . . 'Always willing to help' . . . I remembered! That's what Kimika said about helping me make calls. I looked down to her to see if she remembered that. She was glaring at the vampire, her fists clenching.

Myotismon still spoke tauntingly at Rianmon. "You may be strong, Rianmon, but your heart is too soft to withstand the hardships."

Shockingly, I heard two sudden same growls coming from both Rianmon and Kimika. Kimika's voice rang out, calling to her Digimon. "Don't listen to him, Rianmon! Attack!"

Obedient, Rianmon opened her mouth and bellowed, "Bomb Blaze!" A sphere of orange-white light emitted from her mouth, speeding toward Myotismon.

Unmoving, Myotismon calmly blew the sphere away as if it was nothing but a mere candle flame. He floated higher until he floated above Rianmon. "Crimson Lightning!" A long red lightning was like a whip as he struck it in Rianmon's face. She groaned in pain, and then dropped to her knees, struggling to resist the pain.

Kimika made an anguished yell and broke herself from my hold on her, running toward her Digimon. "Kim!" I called after her, and then realized, with a terrified shiver, I was alone without any protection. I whirled in fear to Myotismon, who laughed, the horrible laughs seeming to shatter in the night air.

His blue eyes glinting darkly, Myotismon hissed in amusement, "Vulnerable! Crimson Lightning!"

All seemed in slow motion. I froze in my tracks, watching the blood-red lightning soaring toward me . . . I heard my name being called. . . I looked away . . . Kimika ran toward me . . . She pushed me away . . . I fell to the ground . . . I heard a pained yell . . .

I whirled to see Kimika surrounded by the red lightning. She seemed to float in the air, her face in deep pain, her woeful eyes on me as the lightning crackled around her. She didn't scream at all. Just staring at me. "NO!" I hollered. The lightning faded away, and Kimika swayed on her feet, collapsing toward the ground. I caught her in my arms, holding her to myself, angry and guilty at myself for not able to protect her. She was unharmed, but unconscious, her head lolling to my chest. Then I saw something glowing from under her shirt, illuminating my face. Her crest!

_Rianmon, digivolve into Nightrianmon!_

I have heard of her, but I never have seen her. Holding Kimika, I stared in awe as Nightrianmon floated in the air several feet away from Myotismon, the same height as him. She was clad in a form-fitting uniform of dark purple and a clock that was made of the night sky with tiny silver stars speckled all over, holding by a gold brooch shaped as a star. Her calf-length boots and arm-length gloves were golden. Two golden horns slanted forward from her hood. There was a red stripe running down the middle of her forehead. Her face was womanlike with red marks under her huge golden eyes and white pupils. 

I noticed that Nightrianmon and Myotismon made no move toward each other, silently hovering, dark golden eyes meeting icy blue eyes. What was going on? Why didn't Nightrianmon attack as she was supposed to?

Then Myotismon smirked hatefully. "Hello . . . Sister."

To be continued . . .


	2. Two: Death Toucher

Dark Side of Empathy

Part Two: Death Toucher

By Debbie (Dai-chan)

"Hello . . . Sister."

I nearly froze in shock at the voice speaking the word with loathing. I gazed up to Nightrianmon, who was floating away from Myotismon. Her pale, feminine face was expressionless, but her golden eyes were slightly darkened, as if disliked the way the vampire spoke the word. I could see her long fingers clenching together. Myotismon grinned at her reactions and continued, "I know you'd come. It's a long time since I saw you, Nightrianmon. What has happened? Oh, you left the darkness, right?"

Nightrianmon spoke not by mouth, but she spoke through mind, her voice flooding through my mind like soft warmth, but with a bit of dark regret. '_It's all behind me, Myotismon.'_

"And you come to stop me?" Myotismon crossed his arms, his lips still having the dark smirk. "Well, what are you waiting for? Here's your chance." But I noticed Nightrianmon hesitated, her hands loosening, her wings drooping a bit. Myotismon scowled at her hesitation and shrugged carelessly. "Well, let us begin. Nightmare Claw!" I tensed in shock as a vague black mist shaped as a shadow of a skull came out of his open hand, hovering toward me and Kimika.

Nightrianmon acted quickly. She pointed her hands toward us and spoke, '_Night Shield!' _I saw a smooth silver glow forming around our bodies like a second skin. It was like a warm blanket, protecting us from the darkness. The Nightmare Claw came in contact with the Night Shield. I felt a tickling sensation on my skin, and then, the Nightmare Claw vanished in the air along with the Night Shield.

Myotismon looked a bit furious and hissed softly, "Crimson Lightning!" Two red bolts shoot from his open hand toward Nightrianmon. 

_'Twilight Moons!'_ Her wings spread out and thrust forward with two shrill whistles in the air. The force in the air formed into two glowing crescents, the colors of the twilight. They spun in a horizontal position that reminded me of Frisbees, soaring to the lightning. Their sharp edges cut through the bolts in pieces. Together, the bolts and moons vanished in thin air.

"Grisly Wing!" Myotismon spread his cloak, and the bats of darkness flew out of it, squeaking and shrieking as they fluttered toward Nightrianmon.

_'Star Twist!'_ Many tiny stars leaped off her fluttering cloak, and spun through the air to the bats. One by one, a star struck on a bat's chest, both bursting in a flash of light. Soon, the bars were gone, and as a flash, the stars appear on their original position on the nightly cloak, as if nothing had happened.

I was suspicious. I noticed that Myotismon and Nightrianmon were equal in strength. They weren't even trying to destroy each other. Myotismon wasn't appearing eager to destroy her. He was testing her power. And Nightrianmon didn't even make an attack toward him. She only defended against his attacks. They were just floating there in the air, silent. Maybe they wouldn't fight each other because they were _related? _I wondered if Kimika knew she was bonded to an evil Digimon, not a good Digimon. I tightened my hold on her, my eyes growing distrustful.

Myotismon finally spoke only to Nightrianmon, "We both know this. No matter how much I love to see you dead, we cannot fight each other." His eyes suddenly darkened. "But, oh, how I dream to kill you, Nightrianmon."

_'For what I had done to your face?'_ she spoke smoothly. Myotismon made a fierce hiss in his throat before he stopped himself. Nightrianmon's eyes were sharpened. '_Our last goodbye, remember? I gave you this scar, which you hide behind the mask_.' I saw Myotismon scowling darker than Nightrianmon's cloak, his fists shaking at his sides. She nodded once. '_Yes, we cannot fight each other.'_

"We were born of the same night," Myotismon said. "No matter how much you deny it, we are one. Always. One side cannot survive without another." He placed a claw-like hand over his chest and bowed deeply with ironic respect to Nightrianmon, who was expressionless. "This talk wearies me. May we meet again, Sister, and hope it will be pleasant like this." He turned away, his cloak rustling behind, and drifted downward to his carriage.

I heard Ikkakumon grunting as he struggled to stand. He dedigivolved back to Gomamon, but he looked upset, growling to Nightrianmon, "What are you waiting for, Nightrianmon? Stop him!"

But she made no move, silently hovering in the air, her golden eyes on Myotismon as he entered in the carriage. The carriage went in motion, rolling at a lazy rate, rolling into the surrounding mist until it disappeared in thin air. Then I heard a deep, mournful sigh coming from her, the sigh seeming to fill my soul. Why would she be sad if she was truly evil after all? Nightrianmon turned to us, and I knew she can read my thoughts since she was psychic. I scowled at her bitterly, distrustfully, shielding Kimika from her. Nightrianmon's eyes went regretful and bowed her head. Then I heard her voice through my mind, woefully.

_'Let us leave to a place where Kim can rest.'_

The Night Shield surrounded us, but I refused to let it to warm me. I felt the silver glow lifting in the air, like a supportive hand. Nightrianmon spread her wings and drifted upward in the air. I still had my distrustful eyes on the psychic Digimon as we glided upward to a nearby building. We arrived at the top of a building, safe from any unwanted witnesses. I laid Kimika down and sat by her, watching to make sure she was all right. I turned to watch my Digimon, Gomamon, getting upset over the recent encounter. He was still weak from the bats' poison, but he got stronger by the minute. He glared at Nightrianmon, who had her back to us, overlooking the park, silent. 

"Why did you hesitate, Nightrianmon?" Gomamon was saying, his green eyes unpleasant. Such so small, he seemed bigger than Nightrianmon with his angry voice and glaring eyes. "Why didn't you attack Myotismon?"

Nightrianmon spoke through mind, her voice a whisper. '_You heard him. I cannot stop him.'_

"Sure you can!" Gomamon snapped. She didn't answer back, her eyes on anything else but us. She couldn't even look at Kimika, her own partner, as if in shame. Gomamon stiffly slammed his flipper on the floor, looking fuming, and cleared his throat. "Are you both really related?"

I saw her raising her head to gaze at the stars. '_In a way.'_

"What do you mean?" I was still suspicious, but also curious.

Nightrianmon turned to me, her golden eyes meeting my dusky eyes. How strange was that the golden eyes so alike to her partner's brown eyes? And, yet how strange was that the golden eyes used to be full of pure evil a long time ago, just like Myotismon's eyes? She was speaking, '_We were born of the same night.'_

"Myotismon said it." I remembered that. "What does it mean?"

_'There are two sides to the night.'_ Nightrianmon's eyes returned to the night sky. '_He is the darkness, the evilness where danger lurks. I am the peacefulness, the sanctuary where a person can be safe in the darkness.'_ I blinked in surprise. I remembered that I did say that the night was the time for evil to come out. Kimika had said the night was the sanctuary. Nightrianmon was using the same words to describe Myotismon and herself. I saw Nightrianmon watching me with the piercing eyes. She knew.

Gomamon asked from her feet, "And when he said that you left the darkness . . . was it true, Nightrianmon?"

She lowered her eyes to the white Digimon and nodded. '_It's true. I was once evil. I once worked with Myotismon a long time ago. Too long.'_ Her hand placed over her chest, over her heart. Her voice grew regretful. '_I finally noticed how the evil blackened my heart and tried to turn back, but he won't let me. We fought. I gave him the scar across his face and ran away from the darkness. I was so ashamed that I escaped to File Island and forced myself to dedigivolve into Lyalmon, my baby stage. No sane Digimon would force himself to dedigivolve, but I did it in hopes that I will never, ever digivolve back to Nightrianmon.'_ She let her hand fall to her side limply, her eyes closed. '_But, as I always know so, my fear came true.'_

I cocked my head in perplexity. "What made your fear come true?"

Nightrianmon opened her eyes to me, and suddenly the golden eyes pierced right through my soul, giving me shivers. There were no emotions in the eyes. Not at all. '_Kim_,' came the answer.

I was bewildered. How dare she say that about Kimika? I stood, shielding Kimika from her sight, a disbelieved frown on my face. "What? Kim is not evil!"

The golden eyes softened into placidity. '_No, I didn't say she is evil. When I was bonded to her, I could see her memories. Her memories are mine now, so alike to mine. She has a secret, a dark one that wounds her heart for so long.'_

I lost my scowl, now confused concern in my face. "Kim?" I turned to look at her. She was laying on her back, her eyes softly shut. The moonlight traced her soft face fairly, but I noticed a difference. Her face was half lightened by the silver moonlight as the other half was black in the shadows. Part light, part dark. Part good, part evil. Was she like that? I wonder . . . I shook my head, turning to Nightrianmon. "But she's so kind, generous. She's empathic."

Nightrianmon spoke now through her mouth, her voice like a night wind, seeming so cold, yet it was soft. "There is a dark side to empathy, Joe." Then her lips shut together, slightly twisted, as if she disliked speaking through her lips. She spoke again through my mind, '_And she will tell you all about it.'_

As if she was truly foreseeing it, I heard a weak groan from Kimika. I knelt by her, helping her sitting up. She was holding her head, her face touched with misery. She scanned around, and then looked to me, her brown eyes dull. "What happened?" Her voice was a whisper.

"You saved my life," I answered, "But you got hurt by the lightning."

Kimika gently touched her face, her eyes lowered. I don't know why, but she looked frightened. "Is he gone?" I nodded in answer, deeply concerned about her.

She didn't look relieved, hugging herself from the shivers she had. Her brown eyes hesitantly rose to meet her partner's golden eyes. I saw Nightrianmon looking away from her, her huge wings folding on her back a bit tightly. '_You heard everything,'_ I heard her speaking.

"Yes," came the shaking voice of Kimika. I wonder how could she hear everything if she was unconscious. Perhaps that was because Nightrianmon was psychic and let her partner know everything she missed.

_'Then you know what to do,'_ replied Nightrianmon.

Kimika lowered her head. "Yes, but it's so hard."

Nightrianmon also lowered her head, but her voice was sharp. '_You are afraid, yes, but you shouldn't let it overcome your empathy. I had done that, and it was not easy. No, it was not.'_

Kimika looked up, and I saw new crystal tears in her eyes, leaving silver streaks on her face. She had her hands slackly on her legs, as if they were helpless to wipe the tears away. She looked up to no one, appearing pleadingly. "I don't know what to do. Who can I trust to tell?"

_'You can tell Joe_.' Both Kimika and I gazed up to Nightrianmon in astonishment. She was gazing right at me, but she spoke to Kimika, '_He bears the Crest of Reliability. You can trust him.'_ Her golden eyes bore in my soul, seeming to know my true role as a Digidestined. Yes, I bear the Crest of Reliability. I am the one who can be deeply trusted, can be fully replied on for complete trust.

I found myself turning to Kimika, saying, "You can trust me. I am here to help."

Kimika glanced at me with misted tears. "Really?" I answered with a nod and a smile. She slowly wiped her tears away, her brown eyes still dimmed, but something was brightening them. Her voice was soft, "I never told this to anybody, not even Tai."

I reached to hold on her hand, squeezing it firmly. "You can tell me."

She gazed down to my hand, looking slightly amazed, then squeezed it back, faintly smiling. "It was since four years, but I can remember it very clearly. My parents were doctors, and I love to come to the hospital where they work, love to help ill and injured people." She softly sighed, her brown eyes going unfocused as she remembered. "I remember a girl, who I knew very well, only seventeen years old at that time. She was so lively, blithe, a sister to me. Then one late night, she was in a terrible truck-motorcycle accident. She was mortally injured, paralyzed. My father tried his best to save her life as my mother helped the girl's family overcome their grief. The girl was in a coma for, I don't know, four or five days. I remember . . . I was standing in the doorway of her room, watching her. I was horrible. All those tubes . . . coming out of her body, linking to the life-support machines, filling the entire room. There were no nurses or doctors. We were alone.

"She let go of my hand and hugged her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. "She woke at that time and looked over to me. Straight at me. I was so overjoyed to see her awake. I held her hand, crying, and then she spoke faintly, 'Release me.' At first, I was confused, but I told her everything will be fine. Pa will do everything to save her. But she kept saying, 'Release me.' Then I finally realized that she wanted . . ." She closed her eyes, her body trembling with the memory. "She wanted me to free her. From life."

"She wanted to die?" I muttered in disbelief.

Kimika gazed at me, her eyes sad. "She didn't want to live like she was before, paralyzed, vulnerable, for the rest of her life. I didn't know what came over me, but I remember I responded to her appeal. I shut off the machines that kept her alive. One by one." She gazed down to her left hand, the hand that ended a life. "Then I sat by her side, holding her hand until she died."

All of us were in shocked silence. Nightrianmon was looking away, remembering her own memories that seemed alike to Kimika's, dark guilt in her eyes. Gomamon was sitting by my side, his green eyes slightly wide with disbelief at Kimika. Even I was speechless, staring at her.

She slowly clenched her hand into a reluctant fist. "I couldn't believe what happened next. I walked away after a moment, and then a nurse walked in at the same time. I heard her shocked yell. She was yelling that the girl died. Chaos happened." She closed her eyes tightly, as if she was trying to resist the flooding memories, but couldn't. "I remember standing in the hall, standing silently as doctors and nurses rushed around in a blur, the yells ringing in my ears. I remembered I saw my mother telling the girl's family about what happened. They cried. Strangely, I didn't cry at all, no tears coming out, watching them. But then I saw him, also crying, the one who cried the most. I began to cry, too, running to him to give him my comfort." I saw new tears streaming out of her closed eyes.

"Who was he?" I asked quietly.

She blinked away tears and turned her head to me. "The girl . . . she was Tai's older sister."

I unexpectedly widened my eyes in shock, but Kimika seemed not to react, still watching me. "Tai had another sister?"

Kimika lowered her eyes. "I just couldn't believe it. She was so . . . optimistic, happy, just like Tai. They were so close, so alike in many ways. Now she was dead all because of me."

My voice was gentle like the breeze as I spoke, "Kim, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," she suddenly said, gazing up. "When Pa announced that, because of the life-support machines shut off, she was murdered. Murdered, Joe! I only freed her, not murdered her!" She was shaking with silent cries, and I shifted close to hold her. This time, she didn't resist me, burying herself deeply in my arms as if she believed I would protect her from her guilt. She still spoke, "But no one found out who did it. No one suspected a seven-year old child. But in the long four years, I suffered. I felt like I killed her."

"You didn't kill her," I soothed.

Kimika was quiet, and then said, "I wonder if Serpenmon was right." I looked down to her, little confused. I remembered TK told me the story about Kimika and Serpenmon. "He said that the one who cares the most also hates the most. I wonder if I was mad at her because she was free, and I was not."

We sat in uneasy silence. I gazed to Nightrianmon. She was unmoving in her cloak. She had her arms crossed, close to her chest, her eyes on the night sky. I wonder what was her first thought when she was first digivolved into Nightrianmon after a long time. Watching her, I saw her jaw went tense, and I knew she was reading my thoughts.

I turned to Kimika, asking, "Why didn't you tell Tai?"

"I was going to, but he was so enraged over his sister's death that no one could calm him for a long time. He was so desperate. He could scream, throw things around. He even cried in his sleep every night, calling for her. Joe, I never see such anger and grief like that in his eyes. You haven't seen him angry. I have." She tucked her fists under her chin. "I was afraid to tell him. I was afraid of him. I kept it inside so long that I forgot how I could tell him."

I heard Gomamon saying quietly, "And your guilt made Iyumon to digivolve into Nightrianmon?" Kimika avoided his eyes and closed her eyes, silently resting in my arms.

_'No, it's not only her fault.'_ I looked up to see Nightrianmon walking closer, but stopped a few feet away from us. _'It's mine, too. I failed to face my guilt and was so afraid to face myself . . . When I digivolved into Nightrianmon after a long time, Joe, I was so enraged and grieved, but I must face my guilt and accept it.' _Her golden eyes flickered to Kimika. '_You must do it, too, Kim.'_

Her voice went in quiet sobs. "I . . . can't . . ." She buried her face in her hands, crying. I tightened my hold on her, trying to give her my sympathy. I understood that it was too emotional for her. I let her cry so she would let out all her grief.

_'Now you know, Joe.'_ Nightrianmon's breezy voice filled my mind. '_Now you know.'_

Yes, I know now. I now knew why Kimika was shy to all of us. She was afraid to know us because if she would grow close to one of us, she would lose us. I now knew what changed her to be empathic. Even with her fear and guilt, she was empathic, because she knew. She always knew the feelings we were feeling. Once she suffered her guilt, she learned to see emotions, understand them. I knew she cared deeply for each of us, but afraid to show it, because in her fear that something, like Death, would take us away from her, leaving her all alone. Kimika quieted her cries and rested her head on my shoulder.

What I didn't understand was why she chose to tell her secret to me, out of all her friends. I was the one she knew the least. Why would she choose to trust me with her secret? Perhaps we were alike in some ways that we didn't know. Perhaps Reliability and Empathy were alike. They were both in trust and understanding. She needed someone who she would trust, who would understand her. I was that someone. Perhaps this night was the purpose for us to get together and know each other better. Inside, I developed a deeper understanding of her. I knew her better than anybody else.

I looked up to the sky and noticed it was getting lighter. Dawn was coming. We need to get home. "Kim," I said, and she looked up to me. "We need to get home now and get some rest. Are you well enough to walk?"

Kimika nodded silently, and together, we stood. I helped her wiping tears away. It was kind of strange, Kimika and I together because of something that was waiting for us. I was waiting for someone to understand me, and Kimika was waiting for someone who she would trust. I found myself smiling, not remembering why.

Then my smile faded into nothing. There was something that nagged at my mind, something that I should tell her. It was important to both her and Tai. I spoke her name firmly, and she looked up to me with new confusion, but also fear in her eyes. "Now, you have told me your secret, but it was not enough, right?"

Kimika stared at me for a moment, and then nodded slowly. "Right."

"You know what am I going to tell you what to do?"

Kimika again nodded.

I sighed, my dusky eyes piercing right into her brown eyes. "Then you know that you should tell about this to Tai. He deserved to know. You are best friends. That's the only way that you could forgive yourself, and hopefully, he would forgive you."

Kimika shook her head sadly. "I will not ask him for his forgiveness. I know him. But . . . I will try to tell him about this."

"No, Kim. Don't try. Do it. You must tell him, or both of you will suffer. That's my advice to you, Kim. Treasure it preciously. If you treasure your friendship of Tai, you must tell him."

Kimika hugged herself for a while, and then silently nodded. I hated to see her depressed, so I gently pushed her up by her chin and gave her a wise smile. She managed to smile back.

Nightrianmon began to cover us with her Night Shield and lifted us up in the air, she also drifting upward. We floated down to the entrance of the park. I felt warm gratefulness in the glow, and I felt that Nightrianmon was thanking me for listening to Kimika. When we arrived to the ground, the glow vanished, and Nightrianmon hovered closer to Kimika. Both golden and brown eyes gazed at each other, and they smiled, the very exact smile of the gentleness they shared. Nightrianmon then glowed for an instant, and dedigivolved into small Sunomon, floating to Kimika's welcoming arms. Sunomon snuggled closer for warmth, and went to a deep slumber, fatigued from the recent battle and her ultimate form.

Kimika turned to me, the smile still on her lips. "Thank you, Joe."

I picked up a now sleepy Gomamon in my arms. "For what?"

"For listening to me."

I smiled at her warmly. "Anytime, Kim."

Her brown eyes were their usual softness, but they seemed to brighten with new relief. We looked up at the warmth radiating from the growing sunlight. The warmth touched our faces that made us feel good about ourselves. Silently, together, we walked out of the park toward my apartment building. I looked at Kimika, who embraced her Sunomon warmly, grateful. Yes, I know her better than anybody else. I knew her well. We were now close.

To be continued . . .


	3. Three: Forgiveness

Man, I cried while I wrote this!

Dark Side of Empathy

Part Three: Forgiveness

By Debbie (Dai-chan)

"Kim?"

I nearly jumped from my position and turned my head toward the voice who called my name. I was daydreaming and didn't hear the soft footsteps of Joe coming toward me. I knew that Joe was used to be clumsy, tended to make clamors with his large feet, but I was not surprised to have him walking quieter. Perhaps that's because of his experiences in the Digiworld. He had learned to 'calm' himself down, not making complaints. Perhaps that's because the one who whined would be the more likely one to be eaten.

I was sitting near a tree, far from all the kids. Even my Digimon was with them. The Digidestined were tending to their usual duties. Mimi was protesting about her dress. I was used to her words, but sometimes, it disturbed me. Sora was patiently minding the words, her face seeming smooth. Too smooth. I felt sorry for her. I do like her, but we were just different, that's all. I watched Izzy, the other friend I have closely befriended, as he typed at his precious laptop. Even though he spent too much of his time on the computer, I just can't helping admiring his knowledge, amazed at how his brilliance saved us at times. Then I was watching the brothers as they set up a fire for all of us. I always have a fondness of Matt, having a liking with the silent type. I also loved TK as a younger brother, and he also seen me as his 'new' sister. And at that time, Joe disturbed my thoughts.

Joe silently sat beside me, easily taller than me. His hair of black-blue seemed to flow in the breeze as my black braids also swayed across my face. I brushed them away and waited for him to speak. There must be a reason why he came to sit by me. There was always a reason. Together, we sat, watching the kids in silence. 

Then Joe finally spoke, but with words that I wished never to hear at all. "Have you told Tai?"

Even though I knew what he was talking about, I refused to show my grief and guilt to appear on my face. I just cannot stand another burst of grief. I just can't. I simply asked back with a hint of confusion, "Told Tai what?"

Joe turned his eyes at me, and I felt a shiver running up my spine. The way he stared at me. Only he knew of my grief and guilt. He was the only one I can trust to keep my secret. I couldn't trust Matt or Izzy because they would not understand. Matt and Izzy would've gone through the same experience I had, but they wouldn't understand. I don't know why, but Joe was the only one I can trust. I recalled his final words to me after I told him my secret. I was too frightened to face him because I knew I didn't do what he and I knew I should do. I was too frightened to do anything.

Joe made a small sigh and spoke, "Kim, you know that you should tell him. Sooner or later. Would you let him suffer for the rest of his life? Would you let yourself suffer, also?"

Why must his words pierce right in my soul? My soul was too wounded to bear any more guilt, and why must his words burden my soul farther? I let my eyes close from his eyes, from the kids' cheerful faces. Which it was bad. Because if I close my eyes, I could always see his face, the very best friend I ever had, his face sharp and yet, so grieved. I could see tears streaming from his eyes, hurting my soul deeper. That's why I almost never had a decent night's sleep for long four years. Because I suffered. Even worse than my friend.

I felt a gentle hand placing on my shoulder, giving me the comfort I might need to face my friend. I quickly putted my hand over Joe's hand, needing more of his comfort and understanding. It seemed to work. I felt a bit better, but still, it was not enough. I knew that my soul will never heal until I tell my friend my secret, the secret I had held for too long.

I simply nodded and stood up. Joe also stood up, but understood that I needed to be alone, staying back. I searched among the kids, trying to find him. There, I saw him. Tai was playing around with his sister, tickling her silly. Even though we were in danger, Tai tended to lighten the dark moods, and it worked. Even Mimi stopped whining and made jokes with Sora, who laughed hard. Seeing him with his sister brought back painful memories of him with his sister. His other sister. The sister he no longer had. Must I tell him? Look at Tai. Look at how happy he was with Kari. He didn't need to remember about his other sister. But he would still remember. Sometimes, I thought I saw deep, dark grief reflecting in his eyes whenever he looked over to Kari. He would never forget. He was very close to his other sister, like he was to Kari now. I must tell him no matter the outcome. And I feared the outcome.

I walked over to him and smiled lightly at the chirping laugh of Kari. I do love her as a sister. She didn't remember me very much since I moved away four years ago. She was only four then. But she still remembered some about me. She even called me by her old nickname - Kimmy. I haven't heard that name for so long. I never realized how much I missed Tai and Kari.

I quietly held on Tai's free hand, and it stopped their playing time. Tai and Kari looked over to me, their tan eyes sparkling with fresh laughter. I smiled back at the little girl and spoke to Tai, "Tai, come with me. I have something to say."

Either he must had heard my grief in my voice or saw the same in my face because Tai seemed to stop laughing, his eyes suddenly soft as he gazed at me with concern. Oh, why must he look like that now? It pained me! But I just smiled and pulled on his hand. Tai nodded and let go of his sister. Kari quietly went over to TK, her now best friend and chatted cheerfully as Matt watched on with silence. 

Tai turned to me and said, "Yes, Kim?"

I gazed around the kids, and said softly, "In privacy."

Tai seemed to blink with surprise, but he just shrugged. He grinned and nodded with agreement. Together, we headed for the edge of the clearing. But I could sense something. Someone was following us. Not even turning around, I spoke, "Agumon, please stay here. Tai and I need to talk. Alone."

I could feel the dark green eyes of the golden dino on me, but Tai turned around, still grinning. "That's okay, dude. We trust on each other. I am positive we will be okay."

_You would never trust me after what I am going to say._ But I shut my mouth, waiting until I heard a grunt from Agumon in agreement. Tai and I walked under the branches. I was leading; I was not sure where were we going, but I wanted to be far from the kids and Digimon, and be alone with Tai. We walked in silence, Tai taking in his surroundings, making comments about how beautiful the leaves were or how warm the sunlight was. I didn't respond, of course, and I could sense that Tai was growing concerned about me. I don't want his comfort or compassion. It was best to tell him just now and quick to avoid the outcome.

Tai stopped, holding on my arm. His grasp was firm, and he pulled me close to me. I gazed up to see his tan eyes gazing back with worry. My face must have showed out all my grief because he was starting to wrap his arms around me in order to comfort me. I don't want his comfort. Voluntarily, I shifted backward away from his too familiar warmth. My eyes lowered, unable to see his face again.

"Kim? What's the matter? You can tell me anything, remember? We are best friends."

I made a sigh, almost a sob. I don't remember being sensitive. I knew that one time I did cry over a small thing. I don't remember. But I do remember that Tai was there at that time, seeming to scold me to quit crying or he would bash me on my head. Of course, he didn't mean that, but I knew he was worried, but he wanted me to be tough. He told me to keep my composure in control or I would never redeem. The words told me that I just have to get over with it. I won't cry. I won't hesitate.

I now gazed up to him with hard eyes. "Tai," my voice was firm, "There is something that I just have to tell you. It will hurt us deep, but it is necessary to hear it." I then took in a deep breath. "Tai, remember Akiko?"

As I expected so, Tai's eyes suddenly shattered into million pieces. I saw it again after long four years. The deep sorrow and rage reflected in his eyes. His face began to tighten, so tight that it was like rubber skin upon his skull. He glared darkly at me, giving me another bitter shudder that I couldn't hide from.

"I thought I told you I won't hear anything about Ko." His voice was very strained, as if he was trying to hold back overflowing emotions. "She was dead. That's all."

I allowed myself to glare back to my friend, and I rarely did that at all. I hated to be angry to anybody. It was not my way to be angry. I was not the one to be angry. My voice was also strained, "Would you know how she died?"

"She was murdered! My sister was murdered!"

"No, she was not."

Tai's eyes were now covered with deep bewilderment, staring at me silently. I tried to clench my fists from shaking, my eyes still hard. "She was not murdered. That night, I was with her. She finally woke up and asked me . . ." Hot tears have streamed out from my eyes, but I didn't bother with them. "Ko asked me to free her. She wanted to die."

Tai seemed to stagger back from me, his face paled. He began to shake his head, his eyes misted and unfocused. Then I heard something impossible from him. A chuckle. He was laughing?! I saw his mouth twitching as another weak chuckle escaped from his lips. I lost my composure and gawked at him in hurt shock. Tai kept shaking his head, turning away. He brushed his hand across his eyes and gazed over to me.

"Sure you jeer, Kim," he was saying, "You tell me that Ko wanted to die. It cannot be right. No one wanted to die."

I just stood in silence, my eyes suddenly dimmed with dark guilt. Tai stared at me as if I would share in the humor, would laugh with him. How could I laugh when I was the responsible one who caused his older sister's death?

"Kim?" his voice was now quavering. "You tell me that . . . Ko woke and asked you to kill her?"

That was not what I expected from him. I couldn't speak. It was like something was holding me back from telling the truth.

Tai raised a hand and pointed a shaking finger at me. "After all the years I wondered who murdered Ko, and after all this time, you were the one who did it."

"I . . . I did not murder her . . . "

"My own best friend . . ."

"I did not!" I began to scream. Tai just glared at me with hot rage. That was the only other time I had seen him so angry, and that was when Akiko, Ko as we was fond to call her, died. By me. My voice grew bolder, "I didn't kill her. I only freed her. She asked me!"

"You took her away from me . . ." I began to shake my head at the words, but the way he looked at me, like I was now a cold-blooded murderer, no longer the empathic Kim. Then I heard more words from him, wounding me deeper. "Why? Why, Kimika?"

He didn't call my full name for a long time like I didn't call him by his full name. Almost never I heard that name from him. He was the one who made up the name Kim, to speak it much easier. My heart painfully burned at the name, the sorrowful voice. Tai's eyes began to mist over, and rarely did I see him crying except at the hospital when I saw him crying the most. I let my tears flowing out, but I didn't cry. 

Tai seemed to collapse upon himself, and made a choked, almost screeching sob. He turned around too quickly and ran away deeper in the forest. I couldn't leave him alone. I just couldn't. I wanted him to understand why I did this. Understand why I chose to free her.

I ran after him. I was not a very good runner, but something in my soul; perhaps my guilt and grief for my friend gave me strength to keep running. Tai was a very skilled runner due to his soccer practices, but somehow, I was able to get up with him. It seemed that he couldn't leave me alone, also. He seemed to want me to come to him. We were very close, almost closer than Tai and Kari or Ko. We understood each other better, but I feared the friendship bond was just now broken and will never be completely united.

I reached to grasp on his arm, and he whirled at me so fast. I could see something white flashing, coming for my face, and I froze in my tracks, welcoming my horrible reward.

His fist smacked right on my left cheek, so hard that I received a bitter dizziness in my head, the force pushing me backward, smashed into a nearby tree. The pain burst in my cheekbone, hot dashes stabbing repeatedly in my left eye and left temple. I didn't yell out in pain, however. I meekly accepted my reward. I didn't let my hand go to my bruise on my face. I weakly gazed at him.

Tai had his fist up in the air, at the point where he had struck me, shaking so violently. He was grimacing at me, tears leaving silver streaks on his boyish face. He saw the appearing black-blue bruise upon my cheek, bulging painfully. He lowered his fist, his eyes seeming to plead with me to tell him the truth. He didn't want to hear it, but he must. I silently told him with my own eyes.

Tai gazed upward to the dimming sunlight and whispered so softly that I have to strain my ears, afraid to go closer to him. "I never had the chance to say good-bye."

I bowed my head remorsefully. My voice was soft, too. "She knew."

"Liar . . ."

I snapped my head up to now glare at him. "Why would I lie to you, my best friend? My close _dachi?_" I pushed myself from the tree and stood firmly in front at him. He was scowling down at me, but I won't be moved by his rage. He MUST hear the truth. "I was there, Tai. I was. I understood perfectly what had you been through, even though I didn't have such an experience like this. But only I knew the truth. Ko was not murdered. She was finally free."

"Free?!" Tai snapped, his eyes widened with disbelief. "If it wasn't for you, she would be still alive!"

"Do you want her to be alive like that? Paralyzed and vulnerable? Remember she was very active and energetic, just like you? She was very independent. She never had to depend on someone else, just like you. She had a very bright future for her, ready to go for college, but just one night of an unwanted accident destroyed everything she hoped for."

Tai was deathly silent, his arms crossed, his eyes somewhere else. I continued, feeling confident to tell everything I knew from that night, "I was there in her room that night. Yes, I know she was in a coma, but then she woke up. I don't know why she waked at that time I was there. We were all alone. She looked over to me and beckoned to come closer. I was crying because I was so happy. She will be all right. Pa will help her. Then she spoke to me. Just two words. 'Release me.'"

I turned away, recalling the painful memories with Ko. "At first, I don't understand what she meant. I finally understood why. She didn't want to live being paralyzed like this. She couldn't bear the thought of having to depend on her family for her life. She didn't want any pity and rue for her own 'failure.' I did free her. I ended her life."

Tai's face was very pale after what I told him. I didn't let myself give in. I was strong. That was what Tai had told me a long time ago, after his sister's death. Be strong, and I will encounter everything. I was ready to see his emotions burning in his eyes and face. He still grimaced at me, shaking his head. "If not for you . . . "

Unexpectedly, I snapped. "Taichi! Would you do it if you were in my place? Would you?! No, because she knew you would not do it even though she begged you to! She knew you would let her live because you couldn't bear losing her! Think, Tai! Why did she come to me? I was just a kid! I didn't understand about death, but I do understand about life. I had pity for her, but I had hopes for her. She came to me because I would do what she asked me. She trusted me. I knew that I shouldn't have done that. I knew because if I did what she asked for, I would cause such pain for both our families and me, too. I would say no, and let her live helpless and incapable for the rest of her life. But then I thought about her future life. Would you like being such helpless for the rest of your life? Would you?!"

I grabbed on his arms, pulling his head to me. He snatched his arms from me, and turned away. I softly spoke, "She trusted me, and I did respond to her appeal. She is now dead, and there's nothing I can do. Nothing you can do. Nothing. I have to accept the fact that I ended her life, but I did not murder her. I freed her from life. She is now free."

I hugged myself, lowered my head. "I have told Joe about this." Tai whirled around, glaring at me with shock. I hardened myself at him. "He was the only one I would trust. I couldn't trust you at all! You were so angry and sorrowful about Ko's death. I suffered from the dreams about Ko's death and you being angry." Tai's eyes began to recognize; he had seen me curled into a tense ball during nights, occasionally grieving silently. "I couldn't tell you what really had happened four years ago, but I was so frightened of you. I was scared, Tai. I kept it inside for too long. It wounded me deep, and I don't know how deep it bore in you, but I know it hurts. It always hurts, Tai. It is supposed to hurt when you lose someone you love. You just can't ignore it. I can't ignore it. I never ask you for your forgiveness, because I knew you are not the one who forgives someone that easily. I won't ask for one. I don't want one. I deserved the pain, but you shouldn't suffer that much. Ko will always be with you. Always."

I let myself wiping away more tears. I began to walk away, whispering, "Good-bye, my friend." I kept walking in silence, and soon, I could hear the soft sobs of my friend from behind me. I wished to comfort him, but I won't. He needed to be alone. I felt my throat burning with hot sobs, but I won't cry. It was not my time to cry. I will cry, but for other time. I quickly wiped away tears from my face as I headed for the camp. I don't know how I can face them after my talk with Tai. I don't know how we could get along together. Would we just stay away from each other? Unable to talk to each other? The others will be suspicious about why would we refuse to talk to each other, even refusing to look upon each other. They knew, even Sora, that we were very close friends. They would find out sooner or later. I don't want to face them, but I just wanted to be in their company. I lost my best friend, and I feared to lose any more.

I silently stepped in the clearing and was cheerfully greeted by the little kids, Kari and TK. They hugged around my waist. I quietly touched upon their backs, embraced them for a brief time. Strangely, their hugs didn't comfort me. It seemed that my soul will never be the same. I was too deeply wounded to be able to be contented or soothed with relief. They looked upon me and appeared surprised at my bloodshot eyes and the bruise on my cheek.

"What happened, Kimmy?" Kari was saying with worry.

I couldn't speak. Unfortunately, Kari's words brought attention to the others. They saw me, looking regretfully and weak, and began to crowd around me. I was similar to Matt, preferring to be alone, often with Tai, my dear friend. But I lost him now. And I don't want any comfort or pity from them. I deserved the pain and must suffer it I voluntarily stepped back, my arms around myself. 

"What's the matter?" Matt was saying. I saw his eyes hardened at the ugly sight of my bruise. "Did Tai hit you?"

"No! No, he didn't hit me. I . . . fell." I was a terrible liar, but I saw the pairs of eyes covering with understanding. They will never understand at all! They will never! "I am fine. Really. No need to be sorry about me." I turned away, now reluctant to face them anymore. There, I gasped in shock.

I saw him. Tai, standing in the darkness of the forest, watching me. He seemed hesitant to enter into the clearing, not even responding to his little sister's words. Then I heard his voice, too soft, "Kim, come with me." Then he turned away, disappearing in the darkness.

I silently left the others. I could hear the shifting, as if they were going to come after me, but heard Joe saying, "Let them be. They want to be alone." _Thanks, Joe._

Tai had disappeared, but I could see his footprints in the dirt in the forest. I followed them, wondering why did he still want to talk with me after what I told him. I don't know how I can face him again. I kept walking until I was stopped by a sound. A sound of a stone against water.

_Plop, plop._

It seemed familiar. A vague memory appeared in my mind, but it was just too blurred. Perhaps it was a memory of a younger Kim that I would not remember. The sound came again, one single _plop_. It came from my far right. I eyed the bushes, wondering what that made the sound was out there. _Plop_. I stepped in the bushes, pushing away the branches, following more _plops_. Why was I feeling, this time, happier when I heard the sounds? Were the sounds the source of my happiness? It was odd, although, but when I heard the gentle slap of a stone against the surface of water, the memory cleared up, bit by bit. 

I arrived. I saw him there, standing near a pond. His back was facing me, and I was so afraid of him, afraid of his temper that I remained in the bushes, praying that he would not hear me approaching. I saw his arm pulling back and thrusting forward to throw something. I heard it again. _Plop, plop._

"Kim, are you hiding back there or join me?" 

I kept my mouth shut at his voice. I wasn't sure if I want to join him. He then threw something again. _Plop, plop_. What was that sound that made me happy? Then I heard him chuckling. He was chuckling? How could he laugh after what I told him? I knew that sometimes my best friend always laugh during inopportune times, always to cheer people up, but this! I have been so long from Tai that I forgot that he changed, grew up.

I quietly walked toward him. I was very good at being quiet. Almost no one ever notice me unless I let myself known, and THAT always startled them, much to their disbelief. I always took a chuckle over this, but I knew because of our strong, but former friendship, Tai learned to realize that I was here without telling me. He always knew that I was here, although I don't want to be known. I was always shy, prepared to be alone. I stood near him and finally saw what he was doing.

Tai was propelling small, flat stones over the water, trying to make them bounce on the water. I finally remembered . . . The memory overwhelmed me that I sat down, wrapping my arms around my legs and solemnly watched Tai repeating the throws, each sound of a _plop_ paining and cheering me at the same time.

"Do you remember this?" Tai was saying. His voice was soft, musing. I wanted to nod and say, _Yes, I do! I remember everything! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!_ But I kept quiet, not reacting at all. I DO not want to remember this. But each plop pierced through my memory, nagging on me to remember, no matter how painful.

"Five years ago . . ." Tai was saying before he threw another stone. The stone made only two bounces before it was swallowed by the water. "We were only six years old, right? I think so. Both our families went for camping up the mountains. Kari stayed with our grandparents, being too young. Just eight of us went there. My parents, your parents, you, me, Trevor, and Ko." I was quiet at the names. My brother was the only one who didn't have Japanese name because he was born in America before my family moved to Japan. I was the only Japanese-born one in my family. That was how I have a Japanese name, not my brother. 

Tai was continuing, the memories of the camping trip rich in his voice. "There was a lake near our camp. We were trying to throw stones to get the most bounces. I remember that you and Trevor got the most. How could you do that?" He again threw a stone. Again, it made only one bounce. Tai sighed. "I tried and tried, but you made, like, seven or eight bounces with one stone. I wondered how did you do that? Trevor was trying to show Ko how, but they ended up in laughs." He fell silent, and I looked up. He was staring at the stone in his hands, his eyes misting. "It was a wonderful time. I enjoyed it very much. But how can you do this?" He threw hard, almost angrily at the water, and made a huge splash, creating wild ripples.

I stood up and took a stone from the ground. I silently threw the stone over the water. _Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop._ We stood in silence, watching as my stone happily bounced until it sank, but already fulfilled its purpose. Tai sighed again, almost like muttering under his breath. I lowered my eyes and whispered, "Just flick your wrist and let your stone go as if it's going to fly. Don't just _throw_ it."

I saw him trying again. He again threw the stone, and this time, it went _plop, plop, plop, plop._ Not bad for a beginner. I almost smiled, gazing over to Tai. He was watching me, his eyes soft. I quickly looked away, avoiding the soft eyes. I turned away and walked toward the forest. The memory was too overwhelming for me to stand it. I was almost at the edge when Tai spoke.

"I'm not done with you, Kim."

I bit my lower lip, but didn't turn. Instead, I spoke, "What do you want with me? Why do you concern with me?"

"Because there is something I just have to tell you."

Those words stabbed me. They were the exact words I spoke to begin my dark secret. I nearly shook my head, wanting to refuse his words, but I lost myself. I felt my eyes misting and angrily wiped my eyes before tears would come out. I turned around and saw that Tai was already sitting, his back still facing me. I went to his side and sat by him, just a few inches away. Together, we watched over the water, listening to odd chirps of birds that only can be found in the Digiworld.

"Tell me, Kim," Tai finally spoke, his voice still soft. "Have you really changed since you moved?"

I wasn't sure what did he mean, so I kept quiet. It was only four years ago. After the Digimon battle, I recalled, at the apartment building. My family left because they were afraid that the 'terrorist bombing' would happen again. I rarely see Tai after that, but whenever we can, we always play and talk as long as we can before we left for home. My new home seemed empty without Tai. Before the battle, he always came over at my old place or I would come over to his home, and just have fun. 

"Have you noticed that your life became . . . empty?"

I glanced over to him in surprise. He was reading my mind?! How odd. I listened in silence as Tai continued. "You know, it was odd. Before, we were always together, stuck together like glue and paper." Tai's voice grew sad. "After Ko's death and your moving, the house seemed empty. No laughs. I grew more reckless, wild after that, always getting in trouble. Now, I am little better, but eh." Tai shrugged. "I never realized how much I missed you until I heard from you that you were coming to camp. To be honest, I was thrilled." I watched him with a smile. I remembered I was feeling the same. "I know we don't have the chance to see each other as often as we can. Then, guess what? Here we are."

I gazed around, slightly nodding. This was the first time in a long time that we ever have some time together. I remembered the entire memories of the adventures, some peaceful, frightened, painful or angered. Yes, I remembered. 

"Kim, I realized that I missed something. A part of myself. After your talk about Ko, I was thinking. I noticed that when I was very wild as a kid, at home or at school, that's because you were not there to watch over me. You understand? You were like my conscience, telling me what to do for right. If I would ever get a bit too wild, you were there to calm me down. You were like my calmer side. When you left, I lost a part of myself. I didn't realize that until now."

That's what I was feeling the same, always the same since after I moved. I watched the water for a while, before I finally spoke, my voice too quiet. "I felt the same, Tai. When I left, my life had been empty. You know that I am really shy." That I heard a chuckle from Tai. I almost scowled at him but stopped myself. "You were my only close friend. If not for you, I would be an outcast at the school. You were always there for me to cheer me up. With your friendship, I would make friends, but really, they were yours, not me. Even at my new school, I made a very few friends. Yes, I realized the same. I had lost a part of myself. When we were together in the Digital World, along with our other friends, my life seemed whole again. But now, not anymore."

"What do you mean, Kim?"

I looked up to meet the tan gaze of my former friend. He was watching, wonder in his eyes. "I mean, after our talk about Ko. I guess we will not be friends anymore."

I heard a heavy, sorrowful sigh from him. I tried to hold back my tears, emotions burning in my throat, but I failed. Two or three tears escaped from my eyes as a soft sob broke through, only to be muffled by my hand, hoping that Tai would not notice. He spoke, "You are right. I would not forgive you for what you have done. I would never do that. But I was pondering about your words. I was very angry, Kim, but I can't help it. I was so mad at you, but I again pondered. You said that you don't want my forgiveness."

"That's right, Tai," I said, glaring at him. "Don't even think about it. I don't want any piece of forgiveness. I deserved the pain."

Tai gazed over to me, silently. "Then maybe you shouldn't deserve the pain. If you have to, then we will share the pain."

I shook my head, but Tai grabbed on my arm, grasping on so tightly that I bit back a yell of pain. His eyes were hard, bitter as he watched me. "I lost Ko and you once. I will not lose you again." I still shook my head, pleading with my eyes to leave me alone with my pain. He loosed his grasp on my arm, but his hand was still there. He held on both my hands, holding them so gently that I wondered if I imagined his fierce clutch. 

"Kim, I will forgive you no matter why." Tai blinked, and I saw tears running down his face. "I will forgive you because I am sure that's what my sister would want me to do."

I finally gave in. I cried in his warm arms, he crying with me. Not because of his forgiveness or his talk. That's because I finally have my best friend back. I was very easy to cry, but I found Tai crying very amused because I knew that he would never cry. He was the one who told me to quit crying a long time ago! I pointed it out to him, and that made him laugh hard, bringing more tears. I kept on crying when he quitted. He just held me in his arms as I wept. I was glad I have him back. Just happy. I looked over his shoulder and smiled through tears at the faint figure of Joe standing in the bushes. He gave me a nod and turned away. _Thanks, Joe, for listening to my secret. Thanks. Because of you, I finally got him back. Now our lives are complete._

Never the End


End file.
